S’more analysis… when will I stop???

Sean Byrne
4 min readApr 1, 2021


Analysis of Twenty S&P 500 Companies with the Highest 20 Year Average Dividend Yield.

Mark Wahlberg and John Goodman in “The Gambler”

Howdy dudey everyone! Have you ever seen that movie “The Gambler” with John Goodman and Mark Wahlberg? One of my favorites. I definitely recommend it. Anyway, there’s a scene in the movie where Goodman’s character goes off on a rant about “f*** you money.” I won’t try to paraphrase so here’s the exact dialoque:


You get up two and a half million dollars, any asshole in the world knows what to do: you get a house with a 25 year roof, an indestructible sh**box car, you put the rest into the system at three to five percent to pay your taxes and that’s your base, get me? That’s your fortress of f***ing solitude. That puts you, for the rest of your life, at a level of f*** you. Somebody wants you to do something, f*** you. Boss pisses you off, f*** you! Own your house. Have a couple bucks in the bank. Don’t drink. That’s all I have to say to anybody on any social level. Did your grandfather take risks?




I guarantee he did it from a position of f*** you. A wise man’s life is based around f*** you. The United States of America is based on f*** you. You’re a king? You have an army? Greatest navy in the history of the world? F*** you! Blow me. We’ll f*** it up ourselves.

I just love it. Goodman’s character explains this concept in such a poignantly blunt manner that his words are just slapping us in the face with a roadmap to freedom. When he said, “you put the rest into the system at three to five percent,” I wondered what that system could be. Now, with this most recent analysis I have a list of stocks that could be used to accomplish that 3–5% return. The next step is to own around $2.5 million, but I would be satisfied with even less. For example, 3% of $900,000 is $27,000 in dividend payments per year. That, for me at least, would be more than enough to “cover my base.”

I’m nowhere near achieving that $900,000 savings target, but here’s the list of stocks that would provide annual returns in that 3–5% range.

Here’s the Chart

The 20 S&P 500 stocks that can help you achieve F*** You Money

In truth, you don’t have to wait till you achieve your target dollar amount to earn a return. Just start with any amount and set up a dividend reinvestment plan account a.k.a. a D.R.I.P. account. This automatically reinvests the dividends you earn back into your account so it can grow without you having to make contributions. However, it would obviously grow faster if you did make regular contributions in addition to the dividend reinvestments. If you have a financial planner then you’ve probably already heard about this before but if not then check out some articles on:

dollar cost averaging into a D.R.I.P. account

Lastly, if you want to try something like this on your own then below is a chart of the companies I listed above with their close price from yesterday at the time of writing this post on 4/1/2021.


I look forward to putting my money where my mouth is. Since I don’t have much money to work with I’ll start with companies that have a stock price of less than $50 per share from the chart above. What do you think? Good strategy or am I just an April Fools fool?

Remember, if you consider referencing this list you should do your own research because I am not your financial advisor. This is not financial advice and you can (and you probably will) lose money investing in the stock market. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Lastly, here’s the code I wrote to create the charts above:

For loop to pull yesterday’s close price from the API
Code for graphing the dividend yield data
Code for graphing the closing price data



Sean Byrne

I’m a data scientist